Movie Galore

A total of 5 movies were watched over the weekend.
One of them was legal.
The rest were downloaded.
Not that bad if you are able to source for a good quality file. It will be like watching a DvD on your Com. And if you are impatient enough, you can actually download a show which is yet to be screened in the cinemas. Provided that you do not mind jerky images and the sights of heads popping up and people walking around occasionally, which happens to be taken discreetly in a real cinema.
I went to watch The Eye 10 on good friday night. Surprisingly, it turned out to be more of a comedy than a horror one, even though there were certain scenes which were quite scary. Scary in a sense, sudden impact. Even if the scene which you are viewing is not scary at all, the music just totally freaks you out. In fact, it can be showing carebears appearing out of nowhere and you will still have a shocked effect. There was a part whereby the show gave everyone a good scare. I was in fear too, and I nearly gave out a sharp scream. It was because of my girlfriend pinching my lap which made me no choice but to scream along with the others.
My girlfriend stayed over at my house over the weekends and we managed to finish 4 others.
Alfie, Closer, Seed of Chucky and Wimbledon.
Quite a gayish combination if you ask me. But those were the few left in my Com which were not watched yet. Spending the time watching movies with your loved ones are never boring, even though some sucks big time.
I shall not emphasize on each one, but I can briefly tell you the first two.
Alfie Starring Jude Law, confessions of a playboy.
Closer also Starring Jude Law, along with Julia Roberts.
Thanks to the show, I became more negative to movies that has to do with romance and also
Closer to falling asleep.

National Security

Got back from camp duty earlier on.
It feels just like spending the night at a place of an illegal immigrant. The duty room is messy, filled with unwanted stuffs lying around and there's a foul smell in it. There's a mattress for each duty personnel to sleep on and it doesn't get any cleaner each day. Everyone shares the same mattress and it is very disturbing to know that when there's people who have skin problems or odour issues. I would usually bring my own towel to use it as something for my head to lie on while sleeping. Pillows are dumped every corner so I reckoned that sleeping without one would be a better idea. There were no bolsters included so if there is anyone who needs a hug, he would have to bring his own. Last alternative would be to hug each other to sleep and ending up playing each other's backside. Fortunately, there's an old but operational TV to turn to if all else fails. A total of 3 NSFs, inclusive of a medic are doing duties everyday. It's done in a turn basis and each of us gets to do around 2 to 3 duties a month.

What's the point of doing camp duty?
It is to ensure security on our grounds. So that there won't be any outsiders invading our premises. For fear that there might be terrorists around.
Yeah Right.
I have been doing duties for more than a year now... and probably the most terrifying thing that has happened to me was going to the toilet in the middle of the night by myself. What could be more worse than having to pee while you are half asleep. I wouldn't care even there were terrorists trying to bomb the whole damn place. All they need to do is ask me and I will gladly go somewhere else and leave them alone before they start tearing the whole place apart.

What's the point of having Regimental Police guarding the main gates then?
If anybody could go pass them, then probably we won't be able to stop the person either.
Retarded.
Doing camp duty is redundant and such a waste of my time.
To the person who already realised my point of view but still giving us duties...
Fuck You.

Unless I have medical reasons, if not I will still have to continue doing duties. I don't mind if the other 2 are people I feel comfortable with.
There was once I did duty with Chris, a guy from the enlistment department.

Chris is one funny guy. Although he looks like a gaming freak and IS one, he doesn't sound nerdy at all. In fact, he talks in a cool manner with a pretty good sense of humour. You can tell that he reads alot and has a good command of english too. It would have done him good if what he read was educational textbooks instead of novels. He could have been an 'A' level or Diploma graduate by then. Actually, there was one thing which I noticed about him. He kept wearing the same clothings. The same shabby green color top and an unattractive pair of jeans. He would be seen wearing the same outfit all the time other than his uniform. I wasn't sure if his jeans and shoes were the same but I could bet his green top was. Chances are.. either he kept wearing the same top without washing it or he bought a number of tops that are of the same color, and the only person I know who would do that is Ronald Macdonald.

I remembered doing that duty with Chris on a weekday. Doing duties with him were always good since he would surely bring his X-box along. We played the X-box for awhile and were starting to get sick of it already. So we decided to do something else. Something which was more exciting and lame. People who always stay back and do OT are considered No-Life hindrance to us because we had to open and lock the doors for them. So we decided to give those bastards a scare of their lifetime. We tip-toed to one of the rooms and found out that a medic by the name of Kumar was still doing his work. We took off our shoes as they were giving out abit of noise. We had to be sure that no one noticed us. As we carefully made ourselves in, I looked at Chris in the eye and couldn't take it anymore. I realised that what we were doing was beginning to be dumb and childish to the extreme. I tried to control my laughter but failed. I let out a loud laugh and Chris couldn't take it anymore too. We laughed like madmen, grabbed our shoes and ran all the way back to the duty room. We were bare footed and carried the shoes in our hands. I wondered if Kumar was actually terrified by the laughter afterall.
What the fuck were we thinking?
Those were the fun duty times.

New Breed

I was informed that the 2 new NSFs are posting to Admin. It's about time we got some additional help before everything turns out chaotic. Admin itself is divided into 3 sections ; MccC, MccD and MccE. Unfortunately, I am in MccD. Ever since I was posted there, I understood and witnessed the true meaning of retardation. There were two other NSFs in the same section as me. Two abnormal ones. Sometimes I would even wonder whether if they were really from another planet, like what others say. But when you say that someone comes from outer space, obviously it is not possible.
I am beginning to doubt that.
I am beginning to believe that they came from another planet. Maybe somewhere in a different dimension where aliens exist. Aliens which communicate in a way no life forms on earth can understand.
The 2 guys in my section are special. One still stands out from the rest as he still holds the title of "Ultimate Geek" until now. From the very first time you see him, you can tell that he's a Pes E guy. Someone who couldn't make it no matter how hard he trys.
Sad.
He has eyes of different sizes, meaning that even if he stretched both of them widely, you will still think that he got punched right in the face. He has uneven eyebrows, monstrous nose and a pair of sausage lips which are like swollen due to infection. His body is full of pores and it seems like he may just mutate into a creature anytime. He reeks and I swear to God, he babbles too.. instead of talking properly like a normal human being. Furthermore, with a fucked up attitude and behaviour like his, you can't figure out what he is trying to say most of the time. He will then repreat himself again and again until he makes himself clear. He can just say 'ARGH' when what he actually meant was that he's hungry and wants to go and eat. Like one caveman like that. He tries very hard to make friends with people even though he knows that everyone dislikes him.
Pitiful.
Honestly, there's no one to blame other than himself. He better wake up his idea before his family starts to disown him too.
The other guy is slightly better. I don't really have an issue with him and he's quite harmless to me. Main problem is that he is either dumb, retarded or stupid. I don't know which description suits him best when all traits are present. No point wasting my time with him so I avoided him as much as I could all the time.

The 2 new guys who are going to be in Admin seemed pretty useful and definitely more efficient than the two I mentioned earlier on. But what the future holds I do not know. Hopefully, it won't turn out to be disastrous.

Children of the Atom

What do you need to know before enlisting in the army?
Naturally, one might wonder whether his life would be good or not. Well... maybe thinking about having a good life in the army would be abit too much to ask for. Usually a guy would be satisfied if he has a smooth one, which is free from confinements and extra duties.
Actually, there's only one thing you really need to know.
If you are not having a Pes status of either a C or E, you are screwed.
Pes status meaning Physical Employment status. It determines whether or not it's going to be tough and also where you will be posted to. Luck can overcome this, but the chances of able bodied males landing up wasted are slim. So, unless you have a godfather by the name of Lee Kuan Yew, don't count on it.

NSFs who are posted to CMPB have medical conditions. They are either posted directly here or after they have a medical downgrade in Pes status. And what do you expect from a group of Pes C and Es?
Nothing.
You won't be expecting much results from them. Having a reasonable amount of job done would be considered heavenly. You can't blame us you know. One look at us and you can tell we are different or what you may call, special. Not all of us look retarded but there are actually a few who do. I feel sorry for them but frankly speaking, there's nothing much I can do to help. All I can do is try my best to avoid them just in case I am being mistaken as one too.

I went back to work this morning after a long weekend which lasted till yesterday. As I was waiting for the usual roll call to begin, Elias came over and told me some news. He told me there were two new NSFs being posted over and one of them was a hobbit. (I did know that channel 5 just screened fellowship of the ring the day before but there's no need to make a fuss out of it. Furthermore, the show was like more than 4 years back and TCS 5 was premiering as though nobody watched it before. Those who have not watched it could be due to 2 reasons. They could be either total geeks from outer space or they couldn't afford movie tickets. But for people that poor, they probably won't own a television set anyway.) True enough, I saw him with my own eyes. A hobbit. He appeared to be a short guy with a fairly strong built and was smiling at me when our eyes first met. I was not comparing him to a hobbit until I realised the similarities of having a pure heart and all. According to Elias, his name was Bodoh Baggins. Speaking of height, we have another guy who is so tall that he can wipe the top of the cupboards without even standing on top of a chair like we do. There are also fat, shabby,hairy ones and guys who are skinny to the bone. Having a combination like this, the whole place looks more like a circus to me.

Actually, people have been asking me how come I am posted to CMPB and also whether I do have any medical conditions or not. I look so normal and yet I get to enjoy the life of a handicap.
The truth is, there is a medical background about me. I may appear to be normal but there's more to it than that. I have no physical abnormalities. I can do all form of exercises without any excuse. In other words, I am physically fit. But I am not, in terms of mentally. I was told that I am not mentally fit for National service and I could not be enlisted into a combat unit even if I wanted to. It broke my heart into pieces just like that. All I did was tell the medical officer how I felt and what was in my mind the whole time. I didn't feel that I was abnormal at all. He told me that I was suffering from Schizophrenia Disorder. It's a kind of mental disorder with pyschotic behaviours. No wonder I had cruel intentions of abusing cute lovable animals. Sometimes I couldn't sleep well and I could vaguely hear demons calling out to me in my mind. As I cleared my head and focused deeply into my thoughts, the demons turned out to be Smurfs singing their favourite song. I would then wake up the following day with a strong will of taking over the world. Nobody could explain why I am behaving like this. All I can think of which is possible of triggering my condition is that sombody owed me 5 cents and had no intention of returning to me after for so long.

Fat of the Land

Lately, everyone has been telling me that I have grown fatter. My colleagues told me that I have gained quite abit of weight and I am starting to notice it myself. It's not that I didn't bother to do anything about it. My life is pretty fucked up at the moment and I am too tired for a workout to lose some weight. My girlfriend has been telling me the same thing since months ago, saying that I am becoming more handsome each day and all. People would ask me whether I had too many meals a day or having suppers right before my sleep. I told them that I had none of these. I had regular meals and no time for suppers. But how could it be? What was the reason then? I told them that I do have regular meals, it's just that buffets are also included. They told me to do something about it before it's too late. I was so worried that I shivered for a moment, and went deep into my thoughts. I was confused and didn't know what to do. What I did know was, if I carried on like this.... I was going to be a fatter person. I needed to plan for a schedule and also a place free from my colleagues, so I went down to think... over a plate of fried rice.

I used to make fun of fat people. I know it's not very nice to do that but it's not very nice to eat till you are fat either. I cannot imagine myself becoming one of them. In the overall, I am still not in the category of FAT. But it seems like I am working quite hard to achieve that standard. It's tough being fat. It means that I have to change the size of my clothes. The tops that I am wearing now is still all right. Unless when I have to bend down to pick up something, the back of my top will tear from bottom all the way straight up. But other than that, I am cool with it. As my tops are quite big, they are able to cover the the buttons on my jeans. Meaning to say, even if I didn't button all the way up, nobody would notice.

Ever since I got into the army, I became fatter. Who says that you would get thinner when you enlist in the army? The pants that they issued to me on the very first day are so tight now until I can't breathe properly from time to time. Even the belt has no usage already. It is just something which is required to wrap around the waist and is merely for display only.

Regardless of all these, I am still proud.
Yes.
I am proud of my body. I don't care what others speak of me and will still continue to eat as much as I like. The more people comment on me, the more I will stuff myself with food. Even if it means to the extent of drinking oil. I will carry on and do my regular catwalks, half-naked in front of the mirror while changing in the mess room, and I will flex my muscles in front of everyone in a way nobody could ever imagine. My girlfriend would love to see me in action too. Even though she keeps saying that I am fat, but I know her too well. Deep down inside her, she thinks that I am a sexy bitch who is too hot to handle. I am not surprised if she will post a comment or tell everyone that what I say is complete bullshit. All I know is that she is a very shy person who will not disclose her fetish for me.

Enlightenment

There are 3 kinds of people mainly Dicks, Pussies and Assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and Dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. Then you got your Assholes. Apparently, all the Assholes want to shit on everything and make a mess. Pussies may get mad at Dicks once in a while because Pussies get fucked by Dicks. But Dicks also fuck Assholes... and if they didn't fuck the Assholes, you get your Dick and your Pussy all covered in shit.

We NSFs are Dicks. We are reckless, arrogant stupid Dicks. Our subordinates are Pussies whereas the public are Assholes. Pussies don't like Dicks because Pussies get fucked by Dicks.. not all the time but if given the chance we will fuck them upside down inside out until their parents can't recognise them. Subsequently, Dicks also fuck Assholes..bastards who just want to shit on everything and create unnecessary problems. Pussies may think that they can deal with Assholes their way but the only thing that can fuck an Asshole is a dick.. with some Balls. The problem with Dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much or fuck what it isn't appropriate and it takes a Pussy to show them that..but sometimes Pussies get so full of shit that they become Assholes themselves. Because Pussies are just only 1 inch and a half away from Assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world but I do know that if we don't fuck these Assholes we are going to have our Dicks and our Pussies all covered in shit.

Inspired by Team America

Amazing Science

I have this friend named Elias. He can also be considered as my colleague as we are both working in the same centre. He is a medic while I am an admin assistant. He is from the Lab station, which is in charge of taking urine and blood samples to check for abnormalities. When I first knew him, I almost mistook him for a mafia. I saw the whole process with my very own eyes and I couldn't bring myself to believe it. Elias was weighing either heroine or cocaine and packaging them into individual plastic bags. I couldn't really tell which was it as I was standing from a distance and did not dare walk any nearer. I took up my courage and approached him with a gigantic syringe just in case if there's any danger. He told me to calm down and explained to me that the white powder was actually glucose and not some drug. I wasn't convinced enough until he gave me some to try myself. That was a real close shave you know. Any false alarm, and I would have taken the syringe and shaft it up his ass.

Elias is a real funny guy. Never fails to come up with jokes and making people laugh. Even though most of the time they are lame or doesn't make any sense at all. But for me, I am like the opposite. I am serious most of the time, easily irritated with nonsensical remarks and don't get along well with lamers. That is why we can't communicate properly. I hope he can be more serious like me and not be so childish.

Today, Elias caught a housefly and kept it in a plastic container. He told me he caught it with a pair of chopsticks when Bruce Lee couldn't have caught it with his bare hands. Many curious people soon heard of it and came to learn more. He repeated himself more than once on the story of how he trapped the housefly into the container. The truth was, he injured it with a swing of his arm and captured it while it was weak. The more amazing thing was, maggots were coming out from the fly's body and multiplying fast. Everyone was like taking turns to see as though they have never seen a housefly in their life before. The fly's body was so tiny, we couldn't figure out whether the maggots were coming out from it's head, body or ass. As I noticed carefully, maggots were coming out from Elias's body as well. There was a hole in his pants and I could see some crawling out from his ass. Everyone was making fun of the maggots and saying they wanted to eat them and all. They like real only. Took the container and pretend to let loose on them and they squealed like girls. Nobody dared to sleep too, because I and Elias might be planting some on those who were unawared. Creating a fake mustache for them would be nice.

Wonder what happened to those maggots now. They were left back in the Lab station. Kinda miss them now.

Unleash the Dragon

Dr Jeremy was a nice guy to all of us. He can easily be considered the most kind hearted, friendly medical officer around. He is the kind who is not proud and talks to us in a manner despite of his higher rank. Sometimes you can also see the back part of his hair standing up like a rooster, looked as though he just woke up from somewhere nearby. Probably the cause of his hair is due to him driving after coming out from a bath and rushing to work. It never occured to me until I asked my chief clerk about it. I told her to check out his hairdo and she told me it should be caused by laying back on his car seat for too long. But that's not the point. His hair had nothing to do with anything. The problem about the place I am working in is that there's area inspection every friday morning. Meaning to say, every thursday would be our area cleaning day, and the following day would be inspection. If the medical officer who is inspecting on that day and he's not satisfied with the cleaniness, he would then carry out punishments for us. Usually it would be a simple 20 pushups and that's it.

Dr Jeremy was the person inspecting a few days back. Usually one would think that nothing would happen as he always do a quick walk through and finishes the whole procedure fast without any problems. Even if there's any flaw he would just close an eye. He is a real nice guy. Nobody would expect that on that friday, he could evolved into someone else. Someone who had just gone through hell week in SOF. According to him, 8 mistakes were found and we were supposed to do 5 pushups for each. Everyone had to do 40 pushups together even though not all were at fault. As we lined up parallel to one another, I was wondering if I could even do 20 pushups at that time. I didn't exercise for like since God knows when. Well, it's time to push myself to the limits of what I could do. As I did the first few pushups, I could feel that it wasn't so difficult afterall. It was the help of my tummy which created a spring return effect. All I need to do was to lift myself up and let go. I did the first ten with only my right arm and the next ten I switched to my left. By the time I was doing my 30th one I was pushing myself into the air and clapping before I land. 10 more to go and that would be all. I took a quick glance from left to right and I had a sudden craving for seafood. I was surrounded by lobsters as one could tell from the color on their faces. It seemed that everyone was struggling and we were told to change to sit up positions. Then it was me who had problems. I couldn't really lift my body up as there isn't any space left. I was like pushing against my loaded tummy and trying my best to squeeze out the oil. I gave it my all and let out a loud fart. It sounded as if the shit came out in my pants. I ignored it and finished till 40. Until now, my arms are still aching and the shit is still on my pants.

You can't judge a person before you really know him/her. I don't think anyone knows the real me. I don't even understand myself sometimes. You can see me as a normal person, like anyone else but it's definitely more than that. I am not simple. There are different kinds of people, most are into the opposite sex, some into the same sex, some even into both. For me, I am neither of these, I am more complicated. People may seem to be overwhelmed by bisexuals as they wonder how is that possible and it's so convenient at the same time. I am a Tri. Not a straight, not a Bi, but a Tri. I am into animals too. Even though I have a girlfriend who loves me alot and we are together for more than a year now, I still gay around behind her back. Needless to say, fondle with animals too. I am not sure why this is happening to me, but surely it has something to do with watching too much animal planet on SCV. A hamster died in my hands too. I would tell people that it died of hunger and stuff like that but there was more to it than it seemed.
Forgive me now, for I have sinned.

A Series of Fortunate Events

Recently, CMPB won an award and my CO was feeling great about it. Central Manpower Power Base is where I am currently serving my national service in and I am so glad that I am not somewhere lost in the jungle and stinking like a piece of shit. Anyway, he gave all of us including our beloved colleagues, mainly DXOs, (who are actually the mother fuckers giving us tons of work when in the first place we already had more than enough) a talk saying how much we had all worked as a team, put in our efforts and achieved this award. Well, in case you were wondering what award it was, it's IDon'tGIVE aFUCKINGDAMN award. It has something to do with quality service and I am very sure i didn't contribute any. I did manage to get some complaints though. Probably the award was to commemorate us for not exceeding the borderline of having too many complaints. An 1/2 day off was then entitled to everyone from CO. Champagnes were popped and balloons were flying everywhere. Then I woke up from a daze and went back to work.

Today I went to SMM (School of Military Medicine) at Nee Soon camp. The place was like fucking far and it should be called Uloo Pandan also. Took me quite some time to get there. I was like thinking how the hell am I going to be there when it's so inaccessible. Upon reaching the destination, my dad woke me up and I got down from his car. Never been there before and was figuring out where's the exact location for my course. I had to be there for some software training. Was hoping for counterstrike but it wasn't even close. The whole session lasted till ard 12.30, went to have lunch at the cook house, and took my time to get back to CMPB. Reached there at 2.15 and the whole day was a fast one. Times like these should come more often. I would gladly go anywhere else instead of the usual.

Back at home, I was watchin TV and surfing the net at the same time. This can easily be done as they are both next to each other and not because I am Carl Lewis. Suddenly, My Com let out a gleam of light. It was a light like no other. My whole body couldn't move no matter how hard I struggled. My eyes became bigger and bigger until they were like the size of cuttlefish balls. As I focus carefully through the light and into my computer, there was a message from an angel sent from heaven to guide me. She asked.." Do you have any problems blogging?". It didn't take long for me to realise that the kind hearted angel was actually Jill. She was not from heaven, but from somewhere in Bedok. Anyway, she taught me the art of blogging, gave me relevant websites and all. It was her who drove the passion within me, and here I am blogging. I may not be a master yet, but master is still only a master. What I want to achieve is to attain immortality and levitate with my legs crossed, right beside buddha.

Simply Fantastic

No idea how to upload a photo. No idea how to change a template. No idea how to add sounds. No idea how to add links. No idea what I am talking about anyway.
Perhaps there's a way to find out if it is necessary or whether it is just for additional bonus. Whatever it is, I definitely will have to spend some time by browsing and figuring out, which I forbid myself to do so. So, for the love of God, if there's anyone out there able to ease my sufferings, please do so by lending a helping hand damnit. You aint cool if you don't blog.

Beginning of a Legend

Its quite pop to write a blog nowadays so i m starting one myself. Nothin much, trying to edit here, this n that, n wat the fuck.... its more fun den i expected. I tink i m gonna quit drinking and all my bad habits just to make up the time for bloggin. How can u even compare anyting else with this. Its like, i used to on my com for porn n more porn.. Now its totally different man.. strictly for bloggin and lesser porn.. hey, dats all for now.. but i will be back soon enough