Point of View

My girlfriend came over my place to stay during the weekends.
As usual, we managed to finish a few movies.

Kingdom of Heaven, Wet Dreams(Korean), Robots and Cursed.
In case you were wondering, I managed to get hold of a screener of Cursed. It's amazing what you can get from the internet and screeners are already considered to be of no big deal.
Screeners are my last options of watching a title. Anything of less quality than those would be avoided. I would rather kill myself than viewing an unclear motion picture with random heads popping up from nowhere.

Kingdom of Heaven isn't as good like everybody had said so. Nowadays, war flicks are pretty fucked up. You can't really expect much from those recent ones.
Troy was not bad.
King Arthur was fucked up and so was Alexander.(Practically being ass fucked by another guy.)
And I bet...
There will never be a better one than
Braveheart.
Or a smoother whiter ass than that of a Scottish.

Wet Dreams is still alright.
Sex is Zero is much better though.

Robots is good.
A typical animation which can entertain you throughout.
Simple story, short and sweet.

Cursed.
No comments.
Maybe it's not supposed to be watched in the first place...
Since it's cursed.
Long-haired freaks start to climb out of your TV if you watch it.

Today I went home at 6.
All because of a briefing regarding Paces 2.
Paces 2 is an upgrade of our system so as to achieve faster and better performances minimizing all paperwork. But so far ever since it was launched, the queue of the public was piling up so much that it looked as though they were coming for another Singapore Idol audition.
It was only after when every station had to store and backdate the data then the queue became smoother. As of now, Paces 2 is still fucked up and something has to be done.

That is why there was a need for today's meeting.
Big Fucks have gathered together with us NSfs in a conference room.
The place was filled with old geezers and the highest ranking one would be the one with a star on the shoulder.
A Brigadier General.
Even my CO is only a Lieutenant Colonel, which is 2 levels below.
The Big Fucks were discussing among themselves throughout and I wasn't the least bit bothered. I tried to pay attention to them in the beginning but soon gave up after hearing too much chim stuffs. I was very sure that they were talking English but what they said was beyond anything that I could ever imagine. Better not listen too much you know. My head might burst open with question marks all over the floor. There were times whereby they were so much engrossed in their discussions that they were only relating to themselves. We couldn't hear anything and could only guess what was going on.
Elias then told me they were figuring out who would be the next American Idol.
I was not disturbed by what he had said, since most of the time he's talking nonsense.
'No lah. I think they are talking about Madagascar.'
I replied him.

The whole thing lasted for quite some time but I managed to go home earlier than the others.
With the help of...
The Chief
of Clerks.
Mdm Gan.

Upcoming Events

Saturday May 28

Martell presents One with Aldrin @ Zouk




Nu Beats with Dixon (Sonar Kollektiv, Berlin) @ Phuture


Friday June 3

UOB Visa Mini presents Female Selection Tour Featuring Vicky Devine @ The Liquid Room




Johnny Fiasco – Chicago (OM Records) Supported By Kinemat @ DXO

Hed Kandi with Tom De Neef (Holland) and Jack Mccord (Australia) @ Zouk




New theme Change Featuring Terratag (UK) @ Coccolatte

Crash Collision featuring David & Amanda (Vibesetters) @ Rouge

The Big Discovery

I come across many different kinds of names everyday.
Hundreds each day.
I encountered the longest name I have known a few days back.

Thirugnanasambhandan

A whopping 20 letters for a one word name. It's as long as

kaninabeichaocheebye

which consists of 20 letters too.

Wow.
I didn't know names could be that long you know. Is there such a need for names to be that long? I don't mean to be rude or insulting, but it's just fucking hard to pronounce when you need to call them. Most of the time people wouldn't bother to call the full name. They would, in this case, call Thiru in short. And chances are, either he won't be responding or another guy with a similar name would come to the front.
Isn't it better to keep a name short and sweet?
A one word name of 20 letters is just inappropriate if you ask me.

Speaking of names,
would you ever name your son 'Dick'?
Knowing that he would be made fun of in the future.
And it's more of an insult than a name.
A word which you scold someone when he messes things up.
Nevertheless, there are still people around with a name like this.

Another name to try avoid having would be 'Harry'.
Imagine yourself in the working society and meeting different kinds of new people.
'Hi, I am Harry.'
'Hi, this is my friend. He's Harry.'
Of course people would be thinking that your name is Harry.
But don't you think it's plain rude to be telling others how hairy you are?
And if you don't look hairy in your appearance, God knows where else others would think of which is as hairy as you have said.

Just Another Paradise

Now that's the Juice I am talking about.

Midnight Madness

Went to Ivan's house the night before.
I met up with Ivan earlier on during the evening for dinner at 201. Sean came to join us followed by Brandon. All 4 of us were sitting at the chinese coffeeshop facing the road and slacking away. Xuguang came for awhile too but left for Zouk. It was like a Saturday to us and we were obviously wasting it away meaninglessly. We did plan to do something else like going Ktv or playing billard at Katong but was in vain. Ivan had to work the next day and didn't want to stay out late. We thought about playing cards in Ivan's house and everyone agreed so we ended up there.
Playing cards was boring.
There wasn't the mood for that. We began talking about what games we could actually play and everyone started talking about primary school times. Games that were played when we were kids.
Then Ivan took out his eraser collection. It was a box filled with erasers that have different flags of countries on them. During primary school, the game is called 'play rubber'. We would play with each other by flipping the rubber on top of the opponent's one. If it is fully on top of the other rubber, then both the rubbers would belong to the person who executed the move.
Fucking Old School game sia.
Those were the times.
We were small back then and didn't know the real meaning of 'playing rubber'. But for now, if I were to let others know that I was playing rubber, (especially with 3 other guys in Ivan's house) they might misunderstood for some other activities you know. My girlfriend would probably leave me for someone else too.

All of us were very excited and couldn't wait to start the game.
There were rules made for the game and because of these, there was bound to be disagreements.
Everyone was playing like small little kids like that. Trying to win each other and breaking the rules in order to succeed. I managed to control myself from being too engrossed in it. Sad to say, the other 3 weren't. They began to quarrel with each other whenever they felt the opposite party was cheating. Sean was in my team and we were both against Ivan and Brandon. Frankly speaking, I wouldn't care if I lost the game. At the most, I would learn my mistakes and buy some rubbers so as to train at home.
There was a point of time when they were arguing about who had broken the rules and all. They were so agitated that it was leading into a fight.
A fight due to playing a primary school game of rubber.
Everyone came to realise that it was childish and we stopped the game and started playing something else.
A game which required the loser to drink some water as a forfeit.
Each person has to take a random card and place it on their forehead. One can only see the cards of the others and not his own. The person with the biggest card will be the winner and the loser with the smallest card will have to drink all the water given. If one is confident enough, he can actually pour as much water as he wants. Everyone has a turn in pouring the water before the loser is being determined.
There was once when Sean was confident and poured the whole bottle into the jug. The whole jug was full of water and he was very sure that someone else was going to drink it. He thought that Brandon had a small card and a good chance of drinking the water.
But he was wrong.
Unfortunately, it turned out that his card was the smallest and he stared at the jug of water for a while. Then he couldn't control any longer and burst into laughters. We couldn't take it also and laughed together with him. The jug was fucking full of water and Sean had to drink all of it. And the best part was... he himself contributed most of it. We laughed so hard that even without drinking any water, our stomachs were going to explode anyway. Everyone was laughing away like madmen and it lasted for quite awhile. Even Ivan's mother was woken up by us and told Ivan to keep it down.
Sean drank the whole jug and we continued playing.
The game ended when all the water was finished. Everyone had their share of water, with me and Sean drinking the most. I drank around 1 1/2 jugs of water and my whole stomach was bloated. Drinking so much water was actually good for us, since we don't really drink much usually. We saw that Ivan had those big vases and Sean suggested that we used them next time to contain the water. The loser would have to drink the whole vase of water, which could fill up to at least 6 litres of water.
Obviously Sean was joking. Having to drink all that water from the vase would be insane... and the person might be ending up dead.
Went home and couldn't really sleep.
Had to go to the toilet in between for like 4-5 times.
Felt so much like putting a bucket right beside my bed.

Seek and Destroy

Recently, I have been playing carrom.
The reason why I started playing carrom was very simple. Basically I was banned from all places to sleep in. The only place where I could sleep in was the mess room itself. And to sleep in a place like that would be almost impossible. The place has an unpleasant smell and people are always inside playing carrom and making noises. Even my grandmother playing mahjong with a group of aunties would be more peaceful than a bunch of deprived guys trying to outdo each other in a game of carrom.
But I became one of them not long ago.
A typical addicted carrom player who would sacrifice anything just for the sake of a game.
I found out that I have lost touch of the game.
It felt as though I had never played carrom in my whole life. Probably it was because the last game I played and trained by myself was 3 years ago, in a deserted cave up in the Himalayas. I remembered that in order to achieve mastery level, one has to go beyond his limits. I knew very well what was important for me and what I wanted to have in the future. So I dropped out of Poly and focused on the journey ahead. I was both mentally and physically prepared for what I had to go through. It was hard for me to accept the fact that I was going to leave my loved ones for a long time, but sacrifices had to be made.
I left home and stayed in a cave for 2 years.
There was no food and water brought from home and I had to find my own to survive. The only things that I brought from home were; a carrom board, the seeds used to play and a bolster. I trained myself day and night, for 2 years and my hair had became completely white. It was only when my bolster had lost it's comfort and giving out a foul smell then I knew my training was enough.
I had to go home and wash my bolster if not I wouldn't be able to sleep well and carry on my training.
Time passed and I realised that my skills were gone.
I was no longer the master I used to be. How could something like this happen to me?
All I could do then was to start from scratch again.

I discovered that I became a player with abnormal tactics.
I am more of a destroyer.
I am not the least interested in putting the seeds into the pockets. As long as I see any seeds belonging to the opponent near the pocket, I will use all my strength and shoot them away, leaving the seeds all scattered around. It feels good to be doing this, even though I am not getting any of my own seeds into the pockets. If I can't get them into the pockets, nobody will too. I don't care if the game takes a long time to finish. All I know is that if there is a great wall of china being built around the pocket, most likely I will be using the world's best artillery and destroying it.

Went to watch Star Wars on Friday night with Xuguang and Kendrick.
Got the tickets for 11.30pm at Century Square. I and Xuguang went there early to get tickets just in case. We reached there about 9pm and realised that we had so much time till the show started. Kendrick was going to meet us around 10 plus, 11 so we figured out that we had alot of time to waste. We went through a nearby Pasar Malam thinking that we could spend some time in it. But it was only around 9.20pm when we finished the whole stretch.
2 hours more...
and nothing much to do.
Only two of us and it was so gay.
We decided that since we were watching Star Wars, we might as well do something affiliated.
So we went to StarBucks to get some coffee.
We were waiting for seats inside and we managed to get hold of 2 sofa seats together with a big round cushion seat at the side.
That could be a lucky night for both of us. To be seating like this in a place like StarBucks would be one of the best ways to enjoy the coffee there. In fact, I would be seating outside on a typical steel chair all the time.
We were even more lucky after that.
There were only two of us, me and Xuguang.
The big round cushion was meant for Kendrick if he managed to arrive early so it was unoccupied for the time being. We didn't know that we would be invaded and our territory being destroyed.
There were 2 enemies. A guy and a girl.
They were fierce.
Right from the start, we were chatting away and minding our own business. We were not looking for any trouble at all. We didn't expect that the guy would come over and join us. He was onto the empty cushion seat and taking as though we weren't there. Then a gal came... probably his sister or his girlfriend. She shared the cushion with the guy and was looking at us straight in the eye, like seducing us into giving up the seats for them.
Suddenly, the guy came behind and strangled me with his arms. I was grasping for air and struggling as much as I could. By that time I was already trembling with fear. I knew that they were out to get us. They wanted to play with us badly.

They meant serious business.

They were both around 3-4 years of age.
Their parents were outside and leaving them by themselves.
They were running around and climbing our territories like mad monkeys. The guy was the more naughty one and started to climb all over us. The little girl followed him and this carried on for some time. They were practically climbing onto me and Xuguang like squirrels. We kept telling them not to play anymore if not somebody might fall and get hurt. Either that or we might lose our patience and whack them jialat jialat.
No matter what, they were still small children so we couldn't really blame them. We took off and went somewhere else to slack. As I was leaving the place, I noticed that the little girl was chasing behind me and showing an evil grin at the same time. I closed the door, placed my thumb on my nose and wriggled my fingers facing her.
'You can't catch me, you little devil bastards.'

Watched Star Wars and it turned out to be not as good as I expected.

Now in Theatres

Conspiracy Theory

Walked to Redhill Mrt station like any other day. Met Kong at the station and went home together since he was taking the East bound train too.
We had a nice conversation, mainly on theories which we have made up.
Theories which might be true to a certain extent.
Or they could be just fiction, depending on how you look at them.

Hakson and Isaac could be from two different planets.
The reason why we suspected that they were from different planets is because they are totally opposite in character. One barbaric, the other quiet in nature.
They could be both in their own spaceships and collided against each other by accident, causing the ships to crash onto Earth. This could happen when they were both very young, maybe still as infants. Their parents were left in their original planets back then and didn't had the chance to bring them up properly. Not much love and concern have been showered upon them thus the results of having rebellious and non-constructive strange behaviours. They have grown up to be
youngsters in the wilds and are striving very hard to survive on their own. They have not seen their parents for a long time as their spaceships have been damaged and parts were scattered all over. They have been trying all ways to get back to their own planets for very long now. They know that Earth is not the place where they belong and they are not welcomed here, especially the Alien King. Overall, Hakson is still fine... just that he needs time to get along with his surroundings and also adapt to how normal human beings are like.
Even as of now, you can hear them randomly calling people up using the phones in Admin and asking them if they knew the whereabouts of the missing spaceship parts.
Alien King's ship would be a grand one. With ultra protection of giant pores all over the surface and an additional brown patch of color designed identically based on his own mutated body.

We also suspected that Hakson could be a real human.
He could be like anyone of us, just that he is real good in acting.
He claims to be in depression.
And because of this, he is excused from alot of duties. Nobody will give him the responsibilities of handling anything. Even if he is being asked to do something, he will be doing slower than any old dying man. He can just take his own sweet time and do at his own pace, sometimes even wasting time away doing unnecessary things. He can't travel by himself in public or he will get lost. He don't know how to take public transport and has to rely on his parents all the time.
Mainly because he is under depression.
It could be due to a past relationship gone bad.
He could be faking it and nobody would know.
His hair is always botak no matter what. Always short and neat. Anything longer than botak and he would go cut it away. Maybe because having long hair would remind him of his past. Maybe last time he had very long hair and was a big time gangster. Maybe his body is full of tattoos and nobody would know since he doesn't change his clothings in the mess room. Maybe he is a hardcore clubber and frequents zouk every week.

Well...
Believe it or not,
it's up to you.

Terror has reached New Heights

The following content is dedicated to our beloved colleague, Zhenrong.
People have asked the victim what had happened and described the incident to me after that.
I will try my best using my imaginations to relate the story closely to the actual event as much as possible.
Please note that it is based on a true story and it must not be imitated at all.

On a fateful day, Zhenrong had the intention of feasting on chilli crabs. He left his home and took a lift downstairs. Having to be all excited about what he was going to eat and all, he wasn't very much awared that he had been followed by a stranger. After quite a distance of walking, the stranger alerted Zhenrong and he turned around. The stranger turned out to be an Indian. Not those Bangala kind that one might think, but a typical Indian. He was wearing a casual top and a pair of bermudas. The Indian asked Zhenrong what time was it at that moment. Zhenrong wasn't the least interested in talking to him and ignored him by listening to his Ipod. He inserted the earphones firmly into place and continued walking.
Now, that is rude if you asked me.
This is the first mistake which he made that could have pissed the Indian off. Well... if I am the one who is being asked about the time by an Indian, I probably would have thought twice. Knowing that Indians are fond of drinking alcohol and that it is in their blood that they can drink well, the perfect answer to give them in this kind of situations would be...
'Hey, what's the time now?'
'It's Tiger Time.'

The Indian didn't give up still. He tried to get hold of Zhenrong's attention again by asking him directions. Even though the destination was being pointed out, the Indian insisted that Zhenrong brought him there. At that point of time, it was obvious that something was wrong. Zhenrong became suspicious and took off quickly.
But it was too late.
The Indian took out a chopper and slashed him from behind.
Chopper as in those which butchers use to chop meat. Not a regular sized knife at all. It was a big heavy chopper and the only blade which could win that would be a samurai sword.
And the funny thing was, the elastic band of the bermudas was strong enough to hold the chopper in place.
Zhenrong was stunned as soon as his arm was cut.
'Give me your handphone!' said the Indian.
When you see a guy holding a chopper and demanding something from you, it is only wise to do as he says.
Zhenrong surrendered his Nokia 6230 to him and also asked him if he wanted his wallet and Ipod as well.
Having to offer an Ipod and a wallet as a package from the victim is already absurd enough but the best has yet to come.
The Indian rejected the two additional items.
I am not sure if he was aware that he was committing an armed robbery or not. But I am sure that it is too retarded to be charged for one just for the sake of an handphone. Maybe he already has a nice branded wallet and a 1000Gig Mp3player. That's why he thought there wasn't a need at all for having more.
I do not know what Zhenrong was thinking at that moment but he sounded calculative too. He did offer to the Indian the 2 items but was rejected. He had no choice but to take them back and knewing that the Indian wasn't greedy at all, Zhenrong decided to try his luck. He asked if he could at least have his Sim card back.
They happened to be the best 2 comedians a crime scene has to offer and everything turned out fairly well. Zhenrong got back his Sim card and the desperate Indian managed to get an handphone.(Probably to call his friends to meet up for a drinking session at the coffeeshop.)
The Indian left and Zhenrong struggled on seeking help.
He came upon a malay woman and asked for help. She saw that he was bleeding heavily and lent a helping hand,
by giving Zhenrong a piece of tissue paper and went off.
What.The.Fuck.
Sometimes it's best not to rely on others. Fortunately, Zhenrong managed to reach the police station without further injuries or mishaps. He made a police report and was told to go to a hospital immediately.
He got a deep wound and was given a long MC to rest.

Right now he's probably enjoying his time...
thanks to an Indian friend.

Feel the Force

Went to ChinaBlack on Friday night.
It wasn’t just a usual clubbing event. It was more than that.

Leslie called me earlier on during the evening and asked me if I wanted to go Dble O. He said that it was free entry for all due to some anniversary reasons. I told him that if that were the case, the whole place would be packed for sure. No point going to a place that is free and ending up squeezing with one another inside. Girls would know about situations like this and chances are, they would rather go somewhere else… Leaving the place filled mostly with desperate guys thinking that they might have a good time rubbing against each other.

I told Leslie that I would pass on that and told him to go ahead and enjoy himself. I would give him a call if I changed my mind. My girlfriend was with me at that time and we were having our dinner and watching a movie. Then Ivan called me and asked me if I had any plans too. He said that he would be going to a pub with Brandon and Sean in Clarke Quay and asked if I wanted to join them. I told him the same thing, that if I were to go down, I would give him a call. Time passed real quickly and it was time Annabelle had to go. I called Leslie again out of curiosity to see if he was enjoying himself in Dble O or not. He told me that Dble O was too packed and they had moved to ChinaBlack instead. He was in the queue and waiting to enter. I asked if there was a long queue there and he said not too many were there.
I decided to join him since I haven’t seen him for quite some time and that I might enjoy myself that night if the place has just the right amount of people and the right touch of music. I got myself dressed up and went down to Orchard. Upon reaching the MRT station there, I gave Leslie a call, told him that I would be reaching soon and asked him to meet me downstairs, so that I won’t be alone while queuing up. I also asked him if the place was packed. He told me it was ‘OK’, just the right amount of people.
It was around 12 midnight at that time and to know that ChinaBlack wasn’t too packed is such a relief.
Maybe the usual crowd had moved to another spot.
Maybe the place wasn’t as good as before and the crowd had died out.
As if.

I reached there and saw the usual crowd of people gathering there. The queue was like the same as before. It was tremendously long and it didn’t seem to be moving at all. I met up with Leslie and we both knew that I was fucked.
Well… I couldn’t really blame him you know. He didn’t know that the crowd would appear this way in such a short period of time. Nobody was at fault. I then called Ivan to see if I could meet up with him instead. He told me that he was with Sean at BQ bar at Boat Quay and Brandon had gone to another place. I was kinda no mood already so I felt that going home and telling Leslie to go back up would be the best solution.
It was fucked up knowing that I had wasted my trip down and that I had to go home in a long journey either by cab or midnight bus. It was as though I had nothing better to do and wanted to come out just to smell some fresh air.
Leslie didn’t feel good at all too, since he was the one who asked me out in the first place. He said that he wanted a drink so we went to the nearby Macdonald’s to get one. I didn’t manage to convince him to neglect the others and follow me instead though. We went our separate ways and I soon received a call.
‘Chee Bye lah… Re-entry also need to re-queue sia.’
‘Come back and accompany me leh…’
I U-turned back and went to find him. There were 2 queues, one for members and the other for commoners. We weren’t regulars of the club so we wouldn’t know which one to queue for re-entry. Leslie was assuming that it should be the shorter one so he waited patiently right at the back. I was accompanying him all the while and we noticed that the queue wasn’t moving at all. He said that he needed to shit so I followed him to the nearest toilet. Even though the toilet was completely empty, I didn’t wait for him inside since I don’t have the habit of chitchatting with him and smelling his shit at the same time. I waited outside for a while and also did some self-reflection of how well I had spent my weekend. As soon as he had finished his business, we went back to queue.
‘Fuck lah, pay $18 liao still spending so much time outside.’
‘Some more the queue like never move at all one.’ He said.
He knew that something had to be done. Wasting time standing in the queue was gonna mess everything up. He went up to the bouncer and asked why the queue wasn’t moving at all.
The best part was…
The bouncer told him that he was standing in the wrong queue. The queue that he was standing in was for members only. The correct one that he should be waiting in was the one that was freaking long. The one that I myself had to queue up in the first place.
Hearing such news,
Leslie lost it.
He couldn’t take it anymore. He talked to the bouncer with all sorts of reasons. There was no way he would go back and queue up just like that. I was at a distance so I couldn’t really figure out what he said to the bouncer. All I knew was that Leslie was trying all ways to psycho the bouncer into letting him in.
Suddenly, the bouncer stepped aside and Leslie signaled to me. I went up to him and we both went to the counter inside. I was like ‘What the fuck sia’. What the hell did Leslie tell the bouncer? As I walked into the entrance, I turned my head to the massive crowd still waiting outside.
‘Pitiful Bastards.’

I asked Leslie what happened and he told me that he negotiated with the bouncer. He said that he had paid money and that the rest of our friends were enjoying themselves inside. Couldn’t possibly wait for so long then go up and reunite with the rest right? Some more the queue wasn’t moving at all. These were the main reasons he argued with the bouncer but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was something else.
He wouldn’t admit at all and I wasn’t right beside to witness anything, but he might have offered something to the bouncer so as to achieve his goal.
A blowjob.
We went up and tried to enjoy ourselves. Met up with Rihao and his friends and it seemed that they had drank quite a lot. They were pretty much resting on the tables instead of feeling energetic. The music sucked big time and the crowd was a major disappointment to me. Mostly guys and ugly girls.
Yucks.
I had to get myself drunk in order to enjoy myself. Getting drunk would be the best alternative for anyone who wants to have a good time since one wouldn’t really bother even if the place was playing Jazz or some Indian music. You would still bump around and make a fool of yourself, that is, if you are drunk. Sober in a place like this would make you think of getting out of there, or committing suicide straight away.
I didn’t really drink much on that night and I didn’t kill myself.
But what I really did feel like doing was…
Setting the whole damn place on fire.


Saturday was a better day for me. Managed to take some photos with the Star Wars characters in orchard, outside Lido.

If you look closely, Ivan was actually holding a gun and pointing at the poor fella’s head.



It appeared that the gun was actually loaded and Ivan accidentally pulled the trigger out of mischief. The bullet went straight into the enormous helmet and through the brains of the innocent guy inside the costume. He was left lying on the ground with blood spilled all over. Everyone thought it was also an act so they took many photos of him together with their family and kids.



Leslie was so into the balls of the trooper that he grabbed them with his bare hands. He was so strong that he squashed the exterior armor together with the actual balls inside. They were unfortunately, mashed. The guy was just earning a living and wearing a thick costume on a hot humid day. I didn’t expect things like this would happen to him.

Fire in the Hole

Today is the 8th day since I went for my dental surgery.
The swell has recovered fast and I no longer look as though I have been beaten up anymore.
Managed to go out during the weekends and almost everyday despite of the way I look. My face was swollen and people would stare at me whenever I walked pass them. People would think that I have gotten into a fight and ending up getting a punch on the face. I don't blame them if they really thought like that because I would think likewise if I see someone in the same situation as me.
I would go around and tell people that..
This is what happens when you snatch an ice-cream from a small kid.
If you can't get your own ice-cream, don't even think of picking on small children.
Or you will end up like me,
being whacked until like this.

For the pass few days, I have been eating light meals (Porridge, Cereal, Etc) and was getting sick of them. I had a sudden craving for chicken rice today and was determined to eat it regardless of whether I could or not. My gums had recovered much and there wasn't anymore bleeding. It seemed to be quite safe to start trying solid foods.
Chicken rice it was then.
I made up my mind and went to the stall a few blocks away from mine. It is my favourite chicken rice stall until now. I decided to push the limits of what my teeth could withstand and ordered something different from my usual.
I said..
'Auntie, give me chicken drumstick, add char siew, add roasted pork, add rice.'
She was busy packaging the rice for the earlier customers and nodded her head.
When she was done, she thought for a while, looked at me and asked me to repeat.
'Le ai geh simi?'
'Wa ai kuay tui, geh char siew, geh syo ba, geh peng.'
Even the uncle who was in charge of chopping the meat and all turned towards me and responded.
'Are you the one who everytime order then don't want the bone to be taken out one?'
Nah..
He mistook me for someone else. At that point of time I didn't know anyone would order as much as me but I was wrong. There could be someone else out there who was feeling the same as me.
Someone who has just taken out his wisdom teeth and have a sudden craving for chicken rice.
I told him that I wanted the bones to be taken out.
It's not like I eat bones or do any rituals with them you know.
Whenever I eat finish anything, I would put the plates into the basin waiting to be washed.
And if there's any bones remaining I would be told off by my brother. He would tell me to throw away the bones unless they are in need of washing too.
I am too lazy to be doing extra work and most of the time my plates will still have bones in them.
Whether or not they are being washed up sparkling clean and hang to dry, I don't care.

The rice cost me $4.80.
I went home, enjoyed my lunch and took a short nap after that.

I was then woken up by a phonecall.
It was Brandon.
'Wana meet me and Xuguang at tampines mall or not?'
'Xuguang treating dinner'
I stood up as fast as a lightning bolt learning that my dinner might be free and that I could try my luck by suggesting Swenson's or Jack's Place.
I went to have a quick shower and was preparing to go out when my handphone alerted with a sms.
'Joking only, Xuguang not treating lah.'
It's not like I was surprised or anything like that.
I am used to it already. People keep playing with my feelings and all. If only they could be serious and really treat me someday you know. I wouldn't mind the least bit.

I went out to meet them and we had dinner.
Ordered chicken rice again.
This time only add rice and char siew. No syo ba.
I have been eating chicken the whole day and I was feeling good.
Awesome.
And then IT came.
The sensations.
I was feeling abit uneasy in the beginning and I could feel something stirring in my stomach.
It turned out to be quite annoying and I was starting to feel like the food inside my stomach has gone bad.
I sensed that there was something in me which was forming.
Like a big tidal wave.
A tsunami.
The urge came and I announced that it was time for me to go. Any delay and it would be disastrous. Xuguang went his own way and I took a cab home with Brandon.
I was feeling extremely uncomfortable throughout the whole ride and I was losing control of my body every single minute.
It was as if the shit inside me has a life of it's own. It was trying very hard, or it's personal best, to come out from my ass. But I was not going to let this happen. I fought on and used up most of my energy against the opening of my asshole. There was no way I was letting loose anyhow. I could be getting myself into deep trouble..
for having to shit all over in a cab.
As the cab driver turned into our carparks, I had the most intense, acute pain from my ass in my entire life. I struggled and needed something to cling on.
I was like possessed.
My body shook so hard that I almost bang my head on the window. The feeling was like getting rammed in the arse by a black muthafucka nigger. Even the driver turned around and looked at me with his enlarged eyes. He was very much concerned, since it was his cab we were in. I got down the cab and ran all the way to the lift and back home. I was so close to giving up inside the lift but thank God I didn't. I stormed into my house, left the main door opened, and exploded in the toilet as soon as my pants were down.
Splattered all over.
The whole place was filled with shit and stench. I was suffocating and needed fresh air.
I could barely breathe without the help of an oxygen tank.
I didn't know how people could shit like this until I experienced it myself.
You couldn't really aim at the toilet bowl you know.
It just splatter all out in all kinds of directions,
like lighting up fireworks in your ass.

Small World Indeed

It seems like everyone is connected to each other somehow.
Singapore is such a small place to live in and it's not surprising for coincidences to happen.

Just think about it.

How often do you come across situations whereby you found out that a person whom you knew was actually a friend of your friend's.
Maybe not just a friend.
Maybe an enemy or a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Or it could just be someone whom you don't really have to bring up since it was already in the past.

Well, it happens to me all the time.
And the more I think of it,
the more interesting it becomes.
So much has happened...
in this small small world.

Bring on the Pain

Went for the dental surgery yesterday morning.
My turn came and was told to change my attire to those of like a sick patient. It's like a combination of a kimono and an apron. And to tell you the truth, I was feeling nervous and nowhere close to becoming a samurai or a chef.
I was shown to my bed after that. The nurse told me to lie down and make myself comfortable. She then took my blood pressure and asked me about my medical history, which I have already told the anaesthetist back then. The nurse wrote down the details and went off. As soon as she was gone, another nurse came over and asked me the same questions. This same procedure was done repeatedly by several nurses and my medical history was starting to become a history on it's own.
Then came a doctor. He was trying to engage in a conversation with me by asking me whether I am still in the army and that doing this kind of surgery is a top favourite for guys serving National Service. He was trying to crack me up and making me unaware of my surroundings. Feeling suspicious, I tilted my head abit to the front and saw him poking a needle into the back of my palm, straight into the vein. I smiled at him even though I wasn't really impressed by the sudden ambush he had given me. Well, if he's the doctor who was going to operate on me... I better show some politeness and gratitude to him you know. I was afterall, his guinea pig.

After somewhile, my time came.
One of the nurses brought me to the operating theatre and I was astonished the minute I stepped into the room. It was a scene like in the movies, or from the series 'ER' rather. I climbed onto the operating bed and adjusted myself. The doctor then inserted a tube into the needle which he had poked on my hand earlier on. What I didn't know was that music could actually be played inside. The radio was on and I could hear the doctor whistling away. I wasn't the least assured at all. I could only pray that they are experienced professionals who will not shake their bodies to the music while operating on me. The doctor signaled to the nurse and she gave me a air mask to inhale. She told me to take a deep breath and said that it was oxygen.
Oxygen doesn't make you unconscious.

I woke up some time later on my original bed and the surgery was over. I was biting on some gauze in my mouth and could feel that my blood was overflowing. I had to swallow much of it as there wasn't any place for me to spit out on. The nurse came over to change a new set of gauze for me and told me that my dad had reached. I changed back to my own clothings, met up with my dad, paid the bills and went home in his car.
I was given an MC starting from 4/5 till 11/5.




It didn't become as swollen as I thought.
But it's still in the early stage so I wouldn't know what might happen next.

My Stitches








My teeth.



I used to keep one or two baby teeth when I was very young. I heard about the existence of the tooth fairy and did try out by putting them under my pillow before I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and checked if the rumours were true. I lifted up the pillow and my teeth was nowhere to be seen. The tooth fairy had taken them and traded something else for me.
A pair of Rolex.

With these teeth placed under my pillow and at the same time considering their amount and value, I probably would be getting up the next morning and seeing a Ferarri parked downstairs with my name written on it.

Last but not least. This was taken a few weeks ago, with all my teeth still intact.



22nd April
Trance Republic, Phuture
Ivan, Xuguang, Me

To Hell and Back

To those who are working in the same company as me.
I am sure that most of you all have heard of the complaint case regarding a phone call on 20th of April. A guy called in to change his appointment but his call was being transferred here and there without any courtesy. He also claimed that the person who answered his call didn't offer much help and also made fun of him.
It's true that such complaints do exist, even though it may sound retarded and completely illogical.
In the first place, nobody in the right mind would want to make fun of people on the phone. It's a guaranteed suicidal attempt to getting yourself in trouble in terms of customer service. And the person who complained must have been living a terrible life with a small puny heart. Either that or he must be a real loser who has never been laid in his entire life. Why does anyone want to complain and complain over such small trivia matters. Misunderstandings happen and it's best to find solutions instead of making the matter worse.
We can try to minimise, but there will always be these low-life bastards complaining about anything they can find dissatisfying.

It just so happens that I was involved.
Unfortunately.
Chao Chee Bye.
The more I think of it,
the more I horny I become.
Horny meaning horns growing out of my head and becoming the devil myself.
The hatred which explodes within me.

On 20th April afternoon, everyone went for a meeting and I was left alone in the office.
Yes.
Alone.
So much for them planning sufficient manpower and all.
Even if there was one or two others together with me, the place was still badly in need of help.
But I was ALONE, God Damn It.

Phone calls were ringing throughout the whole office and I didn't know which one to start picking up. They could just ring at the same time and you wouldn't know which is the right one. The whole place was blasting with phone rings and one could practically dance to the rhythm if high on vodka.
The best part of all is that the ringing usually stops after a long duration.
A long duration of around 3 to 4 calls. People actually call and wait until they are being answered.
I mean like..
If you call a place and nobody picks up after a long duration of ringing, then it's understood that the person is not there and probably you have to try again later.
But No.
They will keep calling and calling until somebody picks up and tells them to call back again.
It's human nature to do such brainless and selfish acts.
For me it's slightly different.
If it is me who is calling, I will call and wait for a some time. If there is no answer, I will try again and again. By the time, I would have already realised that the person whom I am looking for is not around. I will persevere and continue calling. As soon as I hear a voice answering, I will hang up the phone and slam it right down.

The person who wanted to change his SPO appointment called and I answered. I couldn't remember exactly what I told him but I recalled giving him the extension to call and look for James. I was also dead sure that I didn't make fun of him.
What the Fuck?
Make Fun?
I didn't even have the time to fart, not to mention finding time to amuse myself.

The complaint said that the person called Admin and ENT a number of times and it seems like I was the only prime suspect in my office as there was no one else left.
Nobody admitted and nobody knew who answered the calls in ENT.
I knew I was in deep shit.
I was the only one left in the list of suspects.
I did answer one of the calls, but I didn't expect anything like this to happen at all.
Probably somebody else could have answered when I was busy attending to other matters.
But it was unlikely that anyone would bother to answer a call in a shitplace like Admin.
I knew I was fucked.

Ms Woon told me to write a report on what exactly happened on that day and I did.
I wrote that I had answered a call like this but I wasn't the one being rude and all. I simply told him what he needed to know. That's all.
I gave her the report which I wrote and was told to go back into her room after she have read it.
When I entered her room, I had the shock of my life.
The golden book of SAF history was laid openly on her table facing right at me.
It was the Book of Punishments.

Talking about punishments.. Ever since I was enlisted in the army, I became like Singapore Idol like that. I need to sign on whichever documents I have transferred from other departments, on the cases which I have done, on whatever things that I held responsible with. I feel so much like a celebrity rather than a simple guy serving his National Service.

The book was right in front of me and that both Ms Woon and Miss Wong were awaiting my signature, as if they were my fans supporting my new album.
I was like.................................


'Simi LanJiao?!'
in my mind.
I wouldn't sign on it no matter what.
I told them that I was not the culprit and that I was not in the wrong at all.
There was so much anger in me that I could turn into Incredible Hulk instantly.
What they were doing was completely preposterous. It was obvious that they were just finding someone to be the scapegoat and also a person to blame on.
No way was I going to sign that bullshit.
I was furious and couldn't control my emotions any longer. I told her that I wasn't happy straight in the face and that I wasn't at fault.
All was said in a impolite tone and Ms Woon looked at me straight in the eye.
'Is that the way you should talk to an Officer!??'
I knew this is SAF and there's no way you can win in situations like these, even though you are not in the wrong.
I bent my head low and remained in silence while she continued thinking of what to do.
'Officer Big Fuck ah
Officer no need to eat ah
Officer no need to shit ah
Kanina la Chao Chee Bye'
If only she could read my mind...

She told me that she didn't want to press on anymore and passed the case to Mdm Ng.
That's some good news..
Mdm Ng burned my Off before for no reason and she could do the same then.

I went to see Mdm Ng and surprisingly, being in her room wasn't tensed at all.
She could even ask me to take a seat and asked me how I felt.
'Pressurized',
I said.

The issue was about the complaint but she started off in another way.
She began talking about the history of CMPB, our goals and all.
The importance of quality service and how proper phone calls are being handled.
Well..
From what I hear, the only way I could talk back to her would be about the Great Wall of China and the other Wonders of the world.
Then she came to the main point.
I explained to her again like how I explained to the others earlier on.
I was so tired of telling people that I was innocent.
She concluded that there wasn't enough evidence against me and that I was the last link left, which was why I was being accused.
She told me to be careful next time and that she wouldn't want any mistakes from me again.
Thank God I was saved by the last moment when I almost gave up all hope.
I was relieved that I didn't sign on the punishment book.
I am glad that I did stood up for myself even though they threatened to give me harsher punishments if I did not confess. (Something which I did not do)
No Guts.
No Glory.

Rank is what you wear.
Respect is what you earn.

This is one hell of a fucked up place.

Everybody needs Somebody

Lab station is always full of specimens.
We used to have a housefly which was dying and maggots were seen coming out from it's body. There were no news of how it disappeared days later but I suspected that it was not as simple as one might think. The body of the fly was decomposing and the sight of it was becoming too disgusting for some. It was only natural for it to be disposed in order to preserve some hygiene. But I wouldn't think of it this way.
Elias would usually eat his lunch inside Lab as there are always some cases left behind at 12 noon. The rest of the Lab staff would be having their lunch breaks and he would be left there to attend to the remaining pre-enlistees. Most of the time I would be joining him as I am on a diet and I always skip lunch. (It's true that I always skip lunch, but to say I am on diet will be like saying that I am Elvis Presley.) He would be heating his packet of rice in the microwave and getting ready to eat. I noticed that whenever he took a bite, his eyes would stare at the housefly which was trapped in the plastic container. His eyes were glued to the movement of the poor soul, like a cat gazing fish in a water tank. I could see that he was enjoying his meal more and that much of his saliva was dripping out of his mouth. I began to suspect that he got a craving for tiny munchies. Maybe like a bite-sized keropok or something. I do not have any evidence regarding this, but from what I have witnessed, Elias might have taken the violent approach. Probably he couldn't resist the temptations and ate the housefly without anyone noticing. Maybe, he just simply couldn't wait for dessert.

Marcus has a whole lot of personal goodies too.. aside from his usual collection of old nanny bras and panties. He has dead bodies of centipedes and lizards. He managed to preserve them for a long time with the help of some ethanol and they look as though the museum could do some display with them, more for the kids that is. Other than that, people who are of deeper knowledge might think that it is a low budget Science centre. There was once Elias and Marcus caught a live centipede. It was placed in a test-tube like container and was a major attraction for everyone in that period of time. Every now and then, I would go and take a look at the centipede instead of going to the toilet for a pee. My bladder might burst but it was well worth it. Good things don't last long and it disappeared after a few days too. I don't think anyone would have eaten it since it is poisonous but I am very sure of a possibility that could have happened.

It was of high chance that after maturity, it had evolved into a butterfly and flown away somehow.

One week ago, Victor caught a spider and was kept in the same kind of plastic container like other specimens did. It was a shy, average house spider. The reason it was being labeled shy was because it usually hides behind the top cap. One couldn't really see it's presence unless the container is being tilted at a slanted angle. To break the ice, We decided to introduce some friends to it.
First, we caught some ants.
Kong said that the ants could be the spider's food so they were being put into the same container. On the other hand, I was thinking that if the spider could spare the lives of the ants without eating them, then it could be the beginning of a true friendship between them. But the spider was hungry and ate them in spite of the morals I was going to impart to it. The shy nasty spider ate them one by one, without anyone looking. It would pretend to look innocent and hide at it's usual spot whenever somebody tries to observe it's prey eating behaviour. Once the coast was clear, it would feast on them like a silent hunter.
Then came wrestlemania XXXXX.
A housefly was caught again and placed in the same container as the unbeatable spider. The housefly was kindof injured and I could sense that it was trying to plead with the spider. I glanced into the container and right into the eyes of the fly. Our minds were intercepting and we functioned as one.
'Please don't kill me..'
'I have 3 kids..'
BlaBlaBla
BuzzBuzzBuzz
Suddenly, I was interrupted by another frequency...
'Hi there, my name is Peter Parker..'
'I've made some new ant friends earlier on..'
'We had so much fun playing hide n seek together..'
'Care to be my friend too?'

I missed the action and the housefly was left half-bodied the next day.The spider had sprung onto the fly and fed on half of it's body.
Cool.

Long weekend till today.
Spent Saturday and Sunday nights over at my girlfriend's place. Watched a movie (downloaded) before going to bed on Saturday night. Feels so good to be sleeping beside a person whom you love. We had dinner at Fish n Co. in Jurong Point on Sunday. Her mom was asking Belle to join her for dinner and it just so happened that I was around too, so I had no choice but to go along as well. Usually one would assume that if there's an adult around, most likely he/she would be paying.
Well.. It applies to my family. And I am not surprised if this is something which everybody practises. (Given the fact that there are no other working adult present. Being an NSF is not considered working at all, it's slavery.)
I was thinking of eating at Food Court at first. But after knowing that her mom was joining us, my appetite became extravagant straight away. In my mind I was thinking of Jack's Place, Swenson's Sizzler etc.. Then I settled for Fish n Co.
Well.. I did feel uneasy knowing that it's not going to be cheap so I went to draw out some money just in case. Her mom did pay for the bill, but I was feeling awkward so I took out some money to return her as soon as I had the chance. But she gave me a smile and said 'no need.'
What could I say.
I mean like.. if she insisted, I didn't really have the choice too.
Didnt I?

Going for operation tomorrow.
Gonna miss my teeth.

Just for Laughs

I don't know him but I sure want to see how he really looks like in reality.