To Hell and Back

To those who are working in the same company as me.
I am sure that most of you all have heard of the complaint case regarding a phone call on 20th of April. A guy called in to change his appointment but his call was being transferred here and there without any courtesy. He also claimed that the person who answered his call didn't offer much help and also made fun of him.
It's true that such complaints do exist, even though it may sound retarded and completely illogical.
In the first place, nobody in the right mind would want to make fun of people on the phone. It's a guaranteed suicidal attempt to getting yourself in trouble in terms of customer service. And the person who complained must have been living a terrible life with a small puny heart. Either that or he must be a real loser who has never been laid in his entire life. Why does anyone want to complain and complain over such small trivia matters. Misunderstandings happen and it's best to find solutions instead of making the matter worse.
We can try to minimise, but there will always be these low-life bastards complaining about anything they can find dissatisfying.

It just so happens that I was involved.
Unfortunately.
Chao Chee Bye.
The more I think of it,
the more I horny I become.
Horny meaning horns growing out of my head and becoming the devil myself.
The hatred which explodes within me.

On 20th April afternoon, everyone went for a meeting and I was left alone in the office.
Yes.
Alone.
So much for them planning sufficient manpower and all.
Even if there was one or two others together with me, the place was still badly in need of help.
But I was ALONE, God Damn It.

Phone calls were ringing throughout the whole office and I didn't know which one to start picking up. They could just ring at the same time and you wouldn't know which is the right one. The whole place was blasting with phone rings and one could practically dance to the rhythm if high on vodka.
The best part of all is that the ringing usually stops after a long duration.
A long duration of around 3 to 4 calls. People actually call and wait until they are being answered.
I mean like..
If you call a place and nobody picks up after a long duration of ringing, then it's understood that the person is not there and probably you have to try again later.
But No.
They will keep calling and calling until somebody picks up and tells them to call back again.
It's human nature to do such brainless and selfish acts.
For me it's slightly different.
If it is me who is calling, I will call and wait for a some time. If there is no answer, I will try again and again. By the time, I would have already realised that the person whom I am looking for is not around. I will persevere and continue calling. As soon as I hear a voice answering, I will hang up the phone and slam it right down.

The person who wanted to change his SPO appointment called and I answered. I couldn't remember exactly what I told him but I recalled giving him the extension to call and look for James. I was also dead sure that I didn't make fun of him.
What the Fuck?
Make Fun?
I didn't even have the time to fart, not to mention finding time to amuse myself.

The complaint said that the person called Admin and ENT a number of times and it seems like I was the only prime suspect in my office as there was no one else left.
Nobody admitted and nobody knew who answered the calls in ENT.
I knew I was in deep shit.
I was the only one left in the list of suspects.
I did answer one of the calls, but I didn't expect anything like this to happen at all.
Probably somebody else could have answered when I was busy attending to other matters.
But it was unlikely that anyone would bother to answer a call in a shitplace like Admin.
I knew I was fucked.

Ms Woon told me to write a report on what exactly happened on that day and I did.
I wrote that I had answered a call like this but I wasn't the one being rude and all. I simply told him what he needed to know. That's all.
I gave her the report which I wrote and was told to go back into her room after she have read it.
When I entered her room, I had the shock of my life.
The golden book of SAF history was laid openly on her table facing right at me.
It was the Book of Punishments.

Talking about punishments.. Ever since I was enlisted in the army, I became like Singapore Idol like that. I need to sign on whichever documents I have transferred from other departments, on the cases which I have done, on whatever things that I held responsible with. I feel so much like a celebrity rather than a simple guy serving his National Service.

The book was right in front of me and that both Ms Woon and Miss Wong were awaiting my signature, as if they were my fans supporting my new album.
I was like.................................


'Simi LanJiao?!'
in my mind.
I wouldn't sign on it no matter what.
I told them that I was not the culprit and that I was not in the wrong at all.
There was so much anger in me that I could turn into Incredible Hulk instantly.
What they were doing was completely preposterous. It was obvious that they were just finding someone to be the scapegoat and also a person to blame on.
No way was I going to sign that bullshit.
I was furious and couldn't control my emotions any longer. I told her that I wasn't happy straight in the face and that I wasn't at fault.
All was said in a impolite tone and Ms Woon looked at me straight in the eye.
'Is that the way you should talk to an Officer!??'
I knew this is SAF and there's no way you can win in situations like these, even though you are not in the wrong.
I bent my head low and remained in silence while she continued thinking of what to do.
'Officer Big Fuck ah
Officer no need to eat ah
Officer no need to shit ah
Kanina la Chao Chee Bye'
If only she could read my mind...

She told me that she didn't want to press on anymore and passed the case to Mdm Ng.
That's some good news..
Mdm Ng burned my Off before for no reason and she could do the same then.

I went to see Mdm Ng and surprisingly, being in her room wasn't tensed at all.
She could even ask me to take a seat and asked me how I felt.
'Pressurized',
I said.

The issue was about the complaint but she started off in another way.
She began talking about the history of CMPB, our goals and all.
The importance of quality service and how proper phone calls are being handled.
Well..
From what I hear, the only way I could talk back to her would be about the Great Wall of China and the other Wonders of the world.
Then she came to the main point.
I explained to her again like how I explained to the others earlier on.
I was so tired of telling people that I was innocent.
She concluded that there wasn't enough evidence against me and that I was the last link left, which was why I was being accused.
She told me to be careful next time and that she wouldn't want any mistakes from me again.
Thank God I was saved by the last moment when I almost gave up all hope.
I was relieved that I didn't sign on the punishment book.
I am glad that I did stood up for myself even though they threatened to give me harsher punishments if I did not confess. (Something which I did not do)
No Guts.
No Glory.

Rank is what you wear.
Respect is what you earn.

This is one hell of a fucked up place.